"Children are not lumps of clay that a mother can mold and shape into whatever she thinks would be best. They are seedlings...already pears, pines or petunias. As gardeners, we can add only sunshine, water, fertilizer, time and love in order to make that growing plant the most beautiful specimen of what it was intended to be." -Linda J. Eyre
Thursday, March 27, 2008
T-Ball Teamates
Jacob and Joseph had their first T-ball practice last night. I was worried that it would be canceled because it was sprinkling and the weather has been so cold (we actually had snow flurries last night). Luckily though they held it anyway. We took the boys to a Sonics game last Wednesday night so they actually missed their first official practice and they had literally been counting down the days until next Wednesday.
Yesterday the boys (all on their own) got all their gear on and went out to the front yard to play baseball. I was folding laundry in my room and I had a great view of them in the yard from my bedroom window. They were playing so nicely each taking their turn hitting it off the Tee while the other two would field the ball. I was amazed that I didn't have to break up a fight or holler at them from the window to "be nice" or "take turns." It only lasted for about an hour but it was nonetheless a wonderful moment.
At practice the coach told them to partner up. Jacob and Joseph immediately claimed each other as partners. It didn't surprise me but it did make me feel good. I hope that they'll always want to stick together. The team is for ages 5-7 so Joseph is probably the youngest one out there but he held his own and during his turn hit every ball off the tee with some impressive distance. I was so happy for him. He tries so hard to measure up to Jacob (who is usually better at things because he's older) it breaks my heart sometimes to see his frustration when he tries so hard at something and can't perform at his older brother's level. I really want him to gain confidence in himself and stop comparing himself to Jacob. Jacob did great at practice too. When it was his turn he hit the ball way over everyone's head every time. The coaches were very impressed and even came up to me after practice to comment on his swing. I was proud of him too.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Sledding with the boys
Why I love to Run
I went for my 16 mile run early Friday morning and it rained the whole time. Benjamin took this picture of me when I got back because I was soaked to the bone and my ponytail was a tangled, matted fro. He thought I looked pretty funny. I keep forgetting that I can't run in the rain unless I do my Sacajawea braids. Anyway, it was such an amazing run. I finally conquered that monster of a hill that I haven't been able to make to the top since we moved here. It felt great!!! I felt so victorious I threw both hands up in the air in triumph and couldn't stop smiling.
That's one of the things that I love about running is those little moments of personal triumph. I may be almost 30 and have stretch marks and sagging tummy skin but I am stronger and healthier than I ever was 10 years ago. Running for me is like a metaphor for life in so many ways. There are so many spiritual parallels that I have drawn from my time on the treadmill and training for races. My biggest thing that I tell myself is to never give up no matter how hard or how tired I get. When I did the Yakima marathon last year that was one of my goals was to run the whole 26 miles without stopping. By the end of the race my white shirt was stained with blue Gatorade from trying to drink and run past the aid stations but I can't tell you how good it felt when I crossed that finish line and knew I had done it. I know this sounds terribly cheesy but that marathon made me feel so empowered as a woman. The only thing I can compare it to is going through natural childbirth. No matter how hard it hurts and how painful it is there is that moment when that baby is out that you feel the greatest relief and sense of accomplishment. There is nothing like it in the world. That's why I'll probably never get an epidural. I can't imagine not going through that amazing experience it's just an indescribable feeling of power and strength.
There are so many things that I hate about my "post mommy" body. It's hard to look in the mirror sometimes and see what motherhood has done to me. My eyes are blood shot, I always feel like I look so tired and worn out, not to mention these extra 7-10 pounds that I think are going to be with me forever now. But as my body gets older and my skin gets saggier at least I have my running. I love to run because it makes me feel like a strong and powerful woman. When I hear the sound of the pavement under my feet and listen to my favorite songs I forget about the sagging skin and stretch marks and feel transformed into a beautiful, powerful woman that can accomplish anything and can succeed in everything. The feeling is almost euphoric and it only comes after a long, hard run.
Sunday, March 2, 2008
I'm so sad about this!
Instead of re-telling the story again I'm just going to cut and paste the official statement I gave to the police and the humane society: This happened this Saturday (wouldn't you know while Aaron was gone). I'm still so upset about it.
"At approximately 10:20 this morning I was upstairs in our house when I heard the sound of our 2 goats bleating hysterically. I ran to our bedroom window, where I had a view of where they were, and saw 2 of the neighbor dogs attacking the goats. I opened the window and started yelling at them hoping that they would stop attacking and run off. I continued to yell and scream but they were not even fazed. I then ran downstairs and grabbed my rifle. I ran out to our front deck where I could still see the dogs attacking and continued to yell and scream at them to stop while I frantically loaded the gun. I then shot the rifle into the air and they instantly stopped and began running down the hill. I then ran out to where the goats were and found one of the goats lying in the grass stiff and motionless. At first I thought she was dead then I realized she was still breathing. So I looked at her wounds and found two severe gashes in her neck, deep enough that tendons were showing and one of her ears had been completely eaten off. She also had another gash in her back rear. The other goat (which is the daughter of the one that was attacked) had a small flesh wound on one of her ears. About that time I called my husband who was on his way home to let him know what had happened. A few minutes later 3 police officers showed up responding to a 911 call from the sound of the gunshot and my frantic screaming."
An update on Babydoll (the goat that was attacked):
$1300 later she is stable but drugged up on meds that the vet gave us. I think she's going to pull through but she looks terrible. I feel so sad when I look at her and see (now that her hair is shaved around her wounds, all of the stitches and teeth marks and gouges all over her neck. Where her ear was looks so terribly painful it makes me want to cry. We brought her home from the vet today (she had to stay overnight after her surgery) and "Indy" (her daughter) was so happy to see her again. They are very attached, I felt so bad for her while her Mama was gone.
The neighbor dogs were taken away and will be put down. Our neighbor still has a couple of dogs that weren't involved in the attack though, so now I am so worried about them being outside they have been inside the shed or our basement since the attack.
Hopefully our neighbor will pay for the vet bill, he said he would but we will see.
Needless to say Aaron and I were both fasting today that Babydoll would be okay and that our neighbor will keep his word.