Here's a picture of the kids at our ward's Trunk or Treat.....
Jacob as Darth Vader, Ben as Spider man, Lauren as a little Indian girl and JoJo as the Hulk.I must say it was fun this year to have Lauren dress up. Last Halloween she was so little that we we didn't even bother but it was so much fun this year to see her in this cute costume. If it looks familiar to any of you its because it's the same one Josilyn wore a couple years ago-thanks Janna for letting us borrow it.
We went to the Trunk or Treat and the kids got totally loaded up on candy. This year I decided to not be the candy police and told them to eat to their hearts content because Sunday night any uneaten candy would be thrown in the trash (translation-given to Daddy). I used to ration them and let them have a couple pieces after each meal but with 4 kids that gets pretty exhausting so I hung up my whistle and let them binge for 3 days. Well, it's Sunday night and ALL the candy got eaten, and tomorrow they're done and we can go back to a healthier diet.
If you really love Halloween please don't be offended by the thoughts and feelings I've expressed below. I love you all regardless of whether or not we agree on things and I hope no one will be offended by me blogging my feelings about Halloween.
So, fast forward nearly 20 years and I found myself married to someone who of course grew up celebrating this holiday. Now there are very few things that Aaron and I don't see eye to eye on but this was one of them. For years we butted heads on this and as our kids got older we knew we had to make a choice. Sooooooooo, the compromise has been that we let the kids participate in the fun parts about the holiday while abstaining from the emphasis on the dark, scary and haunting things that Halloween is traditionally known for. As a result we have kind of established our own family traditions which include letting the kids dress up (nothing dark or scary), carving their pumpkin from the pumpkin patch and taking them to the Trunk or Treat. Another family rule we agreed upon is that they get to dress up and do the Trunk or Treat until they are 12. It's just my opinion but after that I just think they're too old.
So I'm finally feeling okay with Halloween (as we celebrate it) but something I still don't understood (and I don't mean to offend anyone here) is why some members of the church participate in the darker side of Halloween? I'm always surprised when I go to members homes and see their yards and houses decorated with witches, skeletons, ghosts and vampires. Or when parents let their kids dress up as vampires and witches. Maybe it doesn't seem like a big deal to them (or maybe they just grew up with it so that's what feels normal?), I don't know. All I know is that when I'm around things like that I don't feel the spirit and I'm always disappointed to see people attending church activities and walking the halls of the church dressed up as witches or vampires. Isn't that a slight conflict of interest? Just my own thoughts, I'm sorry if I'm sounding preachy here.
Sock PuppetsSomething fun that we did this year after the Trunk or Treat was to take goodie bags to the kids in the hospital up in Silverdale. For FHE a few weeks ago we made a bunch of sock puppets to put in goodie bags to pass out to kids on Halloween. When Jacob got that infection earlier this year it really made me feel so sad for all the kids who miss out on holidays because they're stuck in their hospital room. By the 5th day Jacob was in tears because he was so bored and wanted to go home so bad. We've been talking a lot about service in FHE's and thought that it would be a fun thing for the kids (especially Jacob) to do. I wanted them to see how happy they could make someone and experience the joy that comes from doing things for others. I think it went really well and I'm glad that we were able to do it.
8 comments:
Ha ha, I thought that costume Lauren was wearing looked familiar. That was the year Braden and Josi were both little indians. Man, that costume still looks just as cute the second time around.
Oh, and I love your sock puppet idea. What a great thing to do for the kids in the hospital!
I loved reading your thoughts on this holiday. I have similar issues with it - I can't stand anything scary, evil, or grotesque. Sarah was a "cute" witch, but now I'm wondering if that makes it better or not. And I caved (you'll have to read my blog for the whole story here) and let Chloe be a vampire, but again, a "cute" one as far as vampires go.
I've noticed that in the last few years I've been slightly bothered by some of the darker bits of Halloween that make it into our church parties or see at member's homes. I've never thought about giving up the holiday completely. Hmmmm... I think I'd still have to buy some chocolate though. Thanks for sharing! Sorry to be so long in the comments!
I think it's really one of those things that you have to decide for yourself. Different things affect us differently. I know there are countless television shows that I choose not to watch that many valiant members of the church love, and also ones I watch that other people abstain from.
Personally, it never would have occurred to me to avoid Halloween. Never. It's always been a fun holiday--plus I like candy;). I personally hate feeling scared so the spooky stuff has never been an issue; I just avoid it to the point that I don't even notice it is there. I don't really ever remember seeing anything from church members that was offensive to me. But I don't think the spooky stuff is about anything dark at church parties, etc. I think for most people it's more about feeling deliciously scared--kind of like on a roller-coaster. I just don't like feeling scared.
Ben and I butted heads a little on this, too. My feelings are not quite as strong as yours, but similar. Ben loves Halloween (and scary movies--which I despise) and likes to put up spooky type decorations. We've had to find compromises on that. One thing about witches, though, I am a devoted fan of the Harry Potter books. When they first became popular, I felt uncomfortable about the whole witch idea, but then I thought about how much the Lord of the Rings books had impacted me as a youth, and I decided to read one before casting judgement. I find the series to be a very worthwhile story of the fight between good and evil. Honestly, if we're going to think in terms of role models, I have to say that Judy dressing up like a Hogwarts witch makes me much less uncomfortable than Darth Vader *grin*.
I could make this a really long post, but will try to keep it short. I used to dress up for Halloween as a kid and enjoyed it. I am not sure if it was a rule or just something we didn't do, but I don't remember my sisters or I ever dressing up in anything that was someone or something "bad". There was also the rule that age 11 was our last year to go trick or treating. Oh and also the rule of no masks or heavy face paint.
On my mission in CA my view of Halloween totally changed. I am not sure if it is because it was a totally different time in life for me because we were focusing on our Heavenly Father and our Savior Jesus Christ. I remember that it became a really dark and uncomfortable time for me.
We did have some interaction with a family in which one of them said they were interested in the gospel and we had met in response to their request for an LDS video. On the surface everything seemed fine, but as we entered their home and began to teach the lesson there was a really bad feeling, which is hard to explain. We met with them a couple of times because of the one that seemed genuinely interested. During that time we found out that they were practicing Pagans who went to some church of the unicorn, believed in reincarnation, never killed a bug, and other things. It turned out that we took our Ward Mission Leader with us to their home on the last time we were planning to see them. It was getting close to halloween and halloween was a lot more than trick or treating to them. I am not sure what it is about them and the whole experience, but I get the chills every time I think about it and would totally not ever walk on the sidewalk in front of their house again.
Definitely my own opinion on this. Since then really noticed a lot of dark things that come out near halloween that I don't feel Heavenly Father would be pleased with. I believe that we should honor and respect those that have passed away and not make a joke of it. I grew up with my mom very into family history and went to cemeteries many times getting information from gravestones and things. We even had a picnic there once because my mom said it should be a happy place and....Getting sidetracked...I also don't like all of the things that represent killing, or mudering or doing harm to anyone. I have had the desire to not celebrate halloween but as Josh and I have spoken about it we have decided to leave it up to each child. But, they will only be allowed to be good things, or people, or super heros, or anything that promotes good.
This turned out to be very long. Again I hope I haven't offended anyone either. I think it is important for all to do what they feel comfortable with in their family.
hi
Settle in, 'cause it's gonna be a long one. Let me start by saying that I really enjoyed everyone's comments. It's very interesting to get different points of view on these types of subjects.
Here's mine. When I incorporate traditions into my family there are a lot of factors that I consider: does it conflict with my religious beliefs? what does it originate from? is it something my family would enjoy? etc. For holidays I like to understand what the whole point of the celebration is: I ask myself, why do I do this- because it's been done in the past? or because it's something my family & I can sincerely do to recognize the occasion. I started evaluating the holidays & here's my run down so far:
New Year's: Great fun! We stay up late to start anew with a sparkling beverage (the only time during the year they get to stay up late & drink a sparkly- that makes it even more special). We talk about setting goals & what this next year will bring.
Valentine's: we express our love for each other in fun, creative ways.
St. Patrick's: Leprechaun's visit the house & turn things green.
4th of July-no-cross that out-- INDEPENDENCE day: we talk about the beginning of our country & why we have the freedoms we do. We really try to have the fireworks & BBQs be a celebration of SOMETHING that has to do with our country gaining independence.
Halloween: When I looked into the origins of this holiday I decided it would not be a good one for my family to celebrate. Plus, I can't stand all the candy and sugar and stress that comes with the 'fun' part of Halloween. The only portion that I really enjoy is the dressing up part. To let my kids experience this we have a costume party every couple of years- not necessarily around Halloween.
Thanksgiving: Besides the traditional gorging? We talk about the pilgrims and the 1st Thanksgiving. We express our gratitude for each other and the blessings we receive.
Now for the two most important holidays of the year:
EASTER: No cute bunny comes to our house to leave eggs or candy. He doesn't even come the day before. The resurrection of my Savior is such an important event in my life that I did not want to taint it in any way. Some say- well, just don't celebrate Easter on Sunday. But Easter is celebrating the resurrection- not hunting for eggs! Well, some say, incorporate the egg hunting with Easter. (Leave 1 egg empty like the empty tomb). Isn't that just sugar-coating? If you want to decorate eggs and hunt for them then do it at a different time of year- and DON'T call it an EASTER egg hunt. If the egg hunt is done any time around Easter then that's what the kids look forward to and remember celebrating. If you want to test this theory out just ask your kids, 'what do you remember about Easter?' Don't give them any prompts . . just let them tell you their thoughts. This may be the best indication if the holiday is being celebrated with a focus on Christ or not. What our family does is talk about what happens at this time in Christ's life and why. We use the Atonement when we repent and countless other things as we try to gain eternal life. It's such an important lesson for children to learn and understand.
CHRISTMAS: We try to stay away from the commercialization. And (are you sitting down?) we tell our children about Santa. We tell them the tradition of who he is and what he did for people when he was alive and that we continue his tradition by filling the stockings on Christmas Eve. The girls even get into it and stick little gifts in the stockings. We have a Christmas tree with lots of family memories hanging from it, and a few gifts under the tree to give to each other. We try not to go overboard with the gift-giving because we don't want the focus to be on what they get- we want it to be on Christ. Along with those family-oriented traditions we focus on the real reason we have Christmas: the birth of our Savior. We read the Christmas story from the scriptures and usually watch a few church videos that spotlight Christ and His birth. It is such an important event that can touch our lives in a great way- if we let it.
Let me conclude by saying that this is what I've found works for MY family. If you don't do it the way I do or even want to that's OK. We all have different opinions and views. That's what makes life so fun!
Wow I hesitiate to even post...
First I respect what ever any one desides to do.
Second I think poeple read too much into these things. I cannot imagine not doing a holiday like halloween etc. I think it is what we put into it or what we make a big deal out of. For my children it is a fun time to dress up, be with family and get candy. Could I read into the dark deep traditions of how it got started sure, but it is just a fun night enough said. As for scary things. Ana loves to be scary things...grotesque, no. She was a mummy this year
I also think you can have fun with the other holiday and keep the true meaning to what things are. Does Santa have anything to do with what christmas really is No, can I balance the too yes.
Will my children understand the true reasons why we do things yes, because we will teach them. Will my kids have any less spirituality or sense of how much thier heavenly father loves them by having Santa bring them presents or thinking a bunny brings them a basket, no.
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