For weeks I couldn't get Joseph to settle on a theme for his upcoming birthday party. Usually this is an easy decision for him. In the past it's always been very closely related to his current interests (Star Wars, Sports, Dinosaurs, etc.) But this year he was giving me nothing.With only 10 days left until his birthday I pulled into the parking lot of Party City hopeful that a walk up and down the aisles would inspire him to choose something, anything. A short time later we emerged from the store empty handed. Joseph was in a funk that I didn't understand.
"Do you just not want a party this year? Is that what it is?" I asked him.
I thought that he had just been struggling to come up with a theme that wasn't too "babyish." But when he walked right past the TRON party display I knew it must be something else.
"No,I don't...... he said, I just want one with our family."
"You don't?" I was shocked. "Why didn't you say so?"
Almost immediately I felt my mind decompress at the possibility of not having to plan a party with all of it's attending stress, (sending out invitations, making party favors, planning games, treats, a second birthday cake etc. etc.)
"Are you sure?" I said, needing final confirmation.
Maybe this was why he'd been so indecisive. Maybe he was just growing out of this whole 'friend party' thing. Hallelujah, I secretly thought. My life just got a lot easier.
A few minutes later I heard him burst into tears from the back seat of the car.
"Mom," he said. "Do you know why I don't want to have a friend party?"
I was bewildered beyond belief, my curiosity peaked.
I listened...
"Because last year I had all my friends come over and no one would do anything that I had planned for my party. They all just left me and ran around outside and no one even payed attention to me, and it was my birthday."
My mind flashed back to last year's "Basketball party." He was very excited about this theme. We even bought a basketball hoop that I fixed up and Aaron sunk into concrete out in front of a poured cement pad. He had the whole party planned out with basketball games, Sports music CD playing while they shot hoops and then he wanted to eat pizza and watch "Air Bud." (which he had never seen but was very excited to watch.) The party did not go as planned, (you can see the link from last years birthday post here:
http://andrialaws2007.blogspot.com/2010/05/josephs-birthday.html
He ended up spending an hour of his party up in his room on his top bunk crying. I didn't know what had happened and no matter how I pleaded he wouldn't tell me why he was so upset. You can't force a kid to have fun at his own party so I just let it go and let him come down when he was ready. Anyway, it all made perfect sense to me now and my heart just ached for him.
So, this year we just had our normal family party on his birthday with Papa and Grandma and then on Saturday instead of having a friend party the plan was to have his best friend Hank come over for a fun day of doing whatever the two of them wanted to do.
Since Joseph didn't have a party theme I used some leftover hot pink streamers and balloons from a YW activity. They were perfect for him though because currently his favorite color is hot pink. It's a little alarming to Aaron and his Dad but it just goes to show you the quirkiness of our little Joseph. (I personally think he chose this color for 'shock value' more than anything else. He enjoys seeing people's reactions when he tells them his favorite color.)Aaron called a few days before the weekend from work and told me that he'd been given 8 amazing seats to a Mariners game (from his boss) and so we thought we'd all go to that as a family. Turns out he really did want his friends there because he asked if Lauren and I could maybe stay home and have a girls night so that he could use the tickets to invite some more friends. Here is a picture of them at the game.
A week after Joseph's birthday I was asked by our Gospel Doctrine teacher at church to bring one of my children to class and speak for a few minutes at the beginning about some of their admirable qualities. I immediately thought of Joseph and the benefit that he would receive from hearing my publicly acknowledge his goodness.
Here were the things that I shared. I also thought it would serve well as an example of the young man that he is during this phase of his life.
Joseph at 8 years old
-Joseph is very service oriented. He wants to be helpful and almost always does his chores without grumbling. Sometimes when he's done he'll ask me if there are any "extra chores" or things I need done. He genuinely cares about helping out and does it in such a sweet and caring way. Sometimes when he can't sleep at night he'll come down and ask me if there are any extra chores I would like him to do.
-Joseph has a lot of courage and is a great leader. He is well liked among his friends and is in the "popular" group of boys at school. Earlier this year the ring leader of the group formed a club with 5 other boys (Joseph being one of them). Joseph's friend Hank was not allowed in the club and the other boys were teasing him and not letting him play with Joseph at recess. Joseph told the ringleader that he wasn't going to be in the club if they left Hank out. So for a whole week he played every recess with Hank until finally the other boys (wanting him to be in the club) relented and let Hank in too. I was so proud of him taking a stand against the popular kids.
-Joseph is very sweet and caring. Aaron and I will often find notes on our pillows with sweet sentiments. He will also make pictures for Lauren and make her gifts at school. Recently he spent almost all of his class earned points to buy a jumbo pack of play-doh for her. Another example of his caring happened at the beginning of the year. There was a new boy in his class that had just come to this school and he told me that every day during class he would lay his head down on the desk and cry. I talked to him about what he could do and the next day he told me that he asked the boy (his name is Ezra) if he would like to be his friend. The boy told him he "would think about it." I don't think that was the reaction he was expecting but I was very proud of him for reaching out to this boy and being so kind and caring.
Joseph is an amazing missionary. When I think of the scripture that says "For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ...." I think of Joseph. Joseph has invited many of his friends to come to church with him. He doesn't just invite them but seems genuinely disappointed when they say they will be there and then don't come. One time he asked during the opening hymn if he could go out and check in the foyer to see if his friend was there because he had "promised" that he would come and he was worried that he wouldn't know where we were to sit by us. He has given out 2 book of Mormons to his friends since school started last fall and wrote a message to them on the inside over all on his own.
He asked if he could invite his class to his baptism and so we put an invitation in each of his classmates Friday folders. As a result of that 3 people from his class came including his 2nd grade teacher.
He also started reading the Book of Mormon this year and asked me one day if he could bring his
own copy to school so that he could read it during "read to self" time. He told me one day that he tried to get Aidan to read it during read to buddy time but "he wanted to read a joke book instead."
-Joseph is very generous and giving. He is so willing to give what he has to others. I have never seen him grudgingly share anything. He is eager to give what he has and is very generous in his giving. Just the other day Aaron asked for a bite of his ice-cream. There was only about 2 bites left in his bowl. When Aaron asked for a bite right as he was about to put it in his mouth, he lowered it from his mouth, scooped up a little more on the spoon and sweetly offered it to him.
Here are a few of Joseph's Favorite things at age 8....
Dinner-Steak
Movie-Tron
Color- Hot pink
TV show- Star Wars The Clone Wars
Sport-Soccer
Book- The Book of Mormon
Board game- Pictionary for Kids
Subject in school- Reading & Math
Best Friend-Hank
Dessert-Magic cookie bars
Things to do-Play basketball at home, play soccer with his brothers in the front yard, climbing rock walls.Candy bar- Twix
Other things about Joseph at 8
Mile Run time- 7:59
Chores he does (some daily and some regularly)- Bring goats in at night, take out the garbage, burn barrel trash, unload dishwasher, clean bathroom, fold laundry, organize the shoe closet, unload the step basket, clean his room, make his bed.
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