(A happy boy, a happy mama, and a clean plate!)First of all Jacob is a big eater so if he doesn't have a big breakfast he's hurting. Because of this I've always tried to cook healthy foods for him and the other kids. Over the years our breakfast menu has grown into a good balance of healthy, whole grain, high protein, nutritious foods that we stagger throughout the week. Usually Tuesday and Thursday are egg days but in the past few months I have cut back to serving eggs only once a week and only on a day when I can "emotionally and mentally" handle the eruption of attitude and grumpiness that explodes the second he comes downstairs and sees me getting out the frying pan. This is our usual conversation on "egg day".
Jacob coming downstairs....
ME:(In as cheerful a tone as I can muster)...."Good morning Jacob...... how did you sleep?" (hoping I can distract him from what he sees me cooking).
JACOB- (In a devastated tone), "What!!! Eggs!!!! Ohhhh Mannnnn!!! I HATE eggs!!! Why do I have to eat eggs......they're so disgusting......this is the worst day of my life, etc. etc. etc.
You get the point right?
So, to ease his burden I've done my best to make "egg day" a better day for him. I've offered to make his lunch for him that day (hoping that would give him something to look forward to). I make homemade juice (we have a juicer) on egg day so that he can be excited about that. I've even cut back to giving him a smaller portion and let him try different things like ketchup on them, etc. etc.
It doesn't matter what I try to do to make it better he is like a storm cloud of grumpiness and his attitude has gone from bad to worse each and every egg day.
Several weeks ago we hit an all time low when he dug in his heels and announced that he was NOT going to eat them. Now in our family we've never catered to picky eaters and not eating the food set before you because you "don't like it" has never been an option. You eat what you're given no matter how much you whine and moan-we don't give in. My philosophy has always been that they need to learn to like nutritious foods and they're not going to acquire a taste for it by being given alternatives. It's been hard at times but years of sticking to this policy has really started to pay off. Sometimes I shake my head in disbelief when my kids get excited to have broccoli with dinner, eat up their spinach salad with pleasure and devour their cantelope like it's candy.
So......, imagine my surprise when Jacob announces one morning that he is not going to eat his eggs. He dug his heels in and I braced myself for a battle over wills.
After poking at his eggs for over 20 minutes and the bus coming in 10.....I told him he was going to have to eat them for his lunch if he didn't eat them now. Soooooooo, long story short he ended up having to pack his lunch with his un-eaten eggs from breakfast with nothing else in his lunchbox but quarters for milk. After I sent him off to school I e-mailed his teacher (explaining the situation) and let her know that Jacob was not allowed to get hot lunch or accept any other food from kids at the table until he ate his eggs. I thought for sure that I would only have to do this once and he would be so starving come 4:00pm that he'd never choose this path again. Well, I guess he gets his stubbornness from me because the next week he dug in his heels again and once again he went to school with only his eggs from breakfast and once again he came home starving that afternoon.
Week after week I struggled with this and no matter what I would do he was not making progress in his acceptance of "egg day."
Until a blessed day.....
Last week when Aaron was working from home and he had some left-over bacon from a YM activity that he wanted for breakfast. I didn't want him just eating greasy bacon for breakfast so I grabbed some potatoes to make some hash browns to go with his bacon. Since it was not technically egg day I let Jacob eat what Aaron was eating and made up some eggs for the rest of us. While eating his hash browns Jacob (or God in his mercy for me) gave him a brilliant idea........
"Mom" he said, "Can you make hash browns on egg day so that I can mix them in with my scrambled eggs? I don't think I would mind them that much if I ate them that way."
And there it was.......the answer and relief to the dreaded egg day that we BOTH so desperately needed. So, today was our second successful "egg day." Hallelujah is all I have to say. And so funny that I can sneak 2 eggs (even more than he was eating before) into his hash browns and he eats them with pleasure. While I'm peeling potatoes and making hash browns he's next to me at the stove making the eggs. We're both smiling, both happy and we're both victors in the battle over "egg day."
Proof that there is once again harmony in our home on egg day.....
9 comments:
This story is amazing to me in a number of ways. I can't imagine being as strong or as strong willed as you, nor can I imagine sending my child's teacher a note admitting that I was forcing them to eat cold, leftover breakfast that they hate for lunch. I can't say that I agree with you on that one, but I do see that the Lord blessed both Jacob and you to have peace and harmony in your home. (This from a woman who almost never provides hot breakfast--and whose children don't like to eat breakfast--and has too many food aversions to force anyone to eat something they hate.)
Wow! First, I am impressed that you make breakfast for your kids everyday! I have such a hard time with mornings that my kids are forced to eat cold cereal, toast, or instant oatmeal that they can fix themselves! Second, we don't like to cater to picky eaters either. I have learned that for me it is too stressful for me to force them to eat what they don't like. Rather, the rule is if they don't finish, then it is nothing else but water for the evening (we mainly have this problem at dinner time). This way, I'm not frustrated at them sitting at the table forever, and they are the ones choosing to possibly be hungry and forgo any treats we may have that night. And last, I'm so glad that you guys discovered "breakfast scramble". We make a version of this for dinner (when we have our hot breakfasts) quite often and the kids love it. What's not to love about hash browns, eggs, sausage and cheese all scrambled into one yummy dish? Good job sticking to your guns though! I think being consistant and keeping the rules we set can sometimes be one of the most challenging parts of parenting!
I was going to say, try putting bacon in the eggs...but it sounds like everything worked out :) I buy those bags of real bacon bits from costco, and then I can just throw a handful of those in the eggs, and my kids eat that up like there's no tomorrow. And, the nice thing, is you don't have to go through the hassel of making bacon and dealing with all the grease. It's already cooked out of it for you. It's nice in a time crunch, or for making breakfast burritos!
From Aaron- I have to back up my wife on this. First- I hate eggs, so I totally see both sides of this. Second- cold eggs are gross, there's no way Jacob was going to eat those for lunch, he waited till after school and ate them re-heated before he got dinner. Third- I FIRMLY believe that every single time a kid rebels against something and the parent lets it go, he/she remembers and it leaves the door open for future rebellions. Whether it's true or not, we've made the decision ahead of time to never leave that door open. There are consequences for everything and Jacob had to learn the hard way what his consequence was. It's not always a cruel win or lose battle, there is often middle ground and we were fortunate to have found it here. He gets his nutrition, but enjoys the way it tastes when mixed with other things. It's a win/win situation! I wasn't made to eat things I didn't like as a kid and now I'm a monster of a picky eater that drives Andria crazy. I'm now being forced to eat things I don't like, only because "if daddy doesn't have to eat it....why do I?". If my parents had been more strict about this, it would have been much easier on me as an adult and my wife would be much happier with my eating habits.
Thanks for the comments guys. I know we all raise our children differently but I appreciate your insights and perspectives. Courtney, I agree with your rule and we actually do that too...(if they don't like something they have to take at least 3 bites of it, then they get nothing to eat until the next meal). This situation however I handled in a more severe way because of his rebellious attitude.
Kendra, I was actually surprised to read your thoughts on this, especially since you have a degree in nutrition. I can however totally understand that the bad experiences you had with food (like drinking powdered milk, and undercooked fish) would leave a bad taste in your mouth. I do think that this situation is a little different-primarily because I’m a good cook and I don’t make gross food. I actually remember my mother making me eat the most disgusting, overcooked scrambled eggs with the black stuff from the pan scraped off the bottom and served with it. I hated it!!! That’s why I make (what I think) are the world’s best scrambled eggs whipped with milk and mixed with cheese. I don’t expect my children to eat gross food that are undercooked or improperly prepared.
Something that you may find interesting however is that as a kid I hated eating eggs and most vegetables. But I was expected to eat them despite my initial groaning. Now, as an adult I am a vegetable eating , egg lover and my body is reaping the benefits of these “acquired” tastes. Please don’t take this offensively but I’m not sure that what you’re doing is a service to your kids nutritionally. I respect your thoughts on this but would only like to point out that if we only eat the foods we initially enjoy most of us would never choose to eat the foods our bodies need. Eating would be a lot more “enjoyable” for me if I only ate ice-cream, chocolate and carbs. But I know that if I did this I would not only be overweight but severely malnourished. I recently heard a study that said it takes kids 12 exposures to a food before a taste for it is acquired. (just something I thought I’d pass along).
Something else that I have found to be true for me is that my spiritual health and my physical health are inseparably connected. This may sound crazy but when I eat in moderation from the healthiest foods I feel the blessings of the spirt more abundantly in my life. I have also found that when I overindulge in eating an excessive amount of sweets or what I would call “junk food” I feel sluggish spiritually as well as physically.
I think it’s important to help our children understand the benefits of not only eating in moderation but the importance of partaking from the bounty of healthy, natural foods that He has given us for our physical as well as spiritual benefit.
Wow, that was a long comment.....sorry so wordy.
I learned in my nutrition classes that kids are picky, but you should never force your child to eat or force them to clean their plate. My kids get served a variety of healthy food, which healthy food they eat and how much of it is their choice.
Your right, Andria, we all raise our kids differently, and I'm sure Heavenly Father sent you the kids that will respond to your style of child rearing. They definitely seem to be turning out well. Just two notes, one: children have about three times as many taste buds as adults do, so strong flavored foods are often unpleasant for children, whereas they seem just right for adults. And two: from the point of view of a less healthy person, when I'm trying hard to eat properly and exercise daily, it takes almost all of my attention and energy leaving me with limited resources for my children and personal study, etc. I know that if I were able to stick to it long enough to make a significant improvement in my health (in other words, if I allow Heavenly Father to make weak things become strong unto me) that I would have more energy for exercising and doing other things, but I hope you appreciate the fact that you were able to learn this while you still had a young, healthy body.
I hate that I can't edit my comments. I just realized that I made one of the most annoying spelling/grammar errors above: that should be You're right....
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