Tuesday, April 21, 2009


I am so DISGUSTED right now I can't even think straight! I just tried to call Aaron at work to vent but he's in a meeting......... So, here's my rant:

About 30 minutes ago I hear Ben (my 4 1/2 year old) calling from upstairs....."Mom, I knocked over my pee pot." His pee pot is a "chamber pot" that I bought after a discussion with some of my friends at an Enrichment activity a few months ago. Our R.S. president was sitting at our table listening to we younger moms discuss our children's bed wetting woes. After listening to my particular situation she (being British) recommended that I get my son a chamber pot. I thought, what can it hurt -I've tried everything else....

So, the next day we went to an antique store and looked for a chamber pot. After not being able to find a working one that was his size we settled on this little metal teapot with a lid that we have since called his "pee pot". The plan was for him to keep his "pee pot" by his bed at night and when he woke up in the middle of the night he wouldn't have to get up and go all the way downstairs to use the bathroom (we live in a very old house that only has one bathroom on the main floor.) Initially this sounded so uncivilized to me but believe me you get worn down pretty quickly after years of dealing with this and I was up for trying anything.

For a while this seemed to work pretty well, there were fewer "soaking wet" mornings and pretty regularly he was peeing in his pot 1-2 times per night.

In Ben's defense I have to be fair and add that he has some unusual issues with his bladder. I have never known a kid that urinates as frequently as he does. We actually thought he had childhood diabetes a year and a half ago and went through 6 months of tests and doctor appointments to try to discover if his "frequent urination" was in any way related. He pees a lot. I remember once during a 40 minute soccer game he had to use the bathroom 3 times. Even when we cut him off from liquids after dinner time and have him go potty before bed he still manages to soak himself before morning. We have tried so many things including waking him up before we go to bed to have him go pee again around 10:00 but then he pees again after that. He pees ALL the time and it doesn't even bother him to lay in his bed of pea soaked pajamas and sheets. I used to think that it was so disgusting and when we'd go upstairs to check on the kids before bed sometimes we'd find him already soaked. I stopped getting him up and changing him then and there because I just got so tired of it and because he didn't even care if he was sleeping in his own pee. Now he just wakes up in the morning and changes his clothes (putting his pea clothes in the hamper) and stripping his bed so we can wash his sheets and bedding. It's like he's not even bothered by it. And so I have just let it go and dealt with the daily reality of him wetting his bed.

This morning was the last straw though when he knocked over his pee pot and there was literally a lake of rancid smelling pee pooling on the hardwood floor. I had him go downstairs and empty the remaining pee from his pot in the toilet while I started cleaning up the mess. I got about 15 seconds into it and got so mad and disgusted that I told him to come back upstairs and clean this up himself. After using multiple hand towels from the rag basket he put them all in a big bowel and brought them down to me. When I went back upstairs to disinfect the floors with bleach I noticed on my way up that the pea had seeped down from the upstairs floor through the ceiling and was dripping in a pool on the kitchen floor!!! I am SO disgusted right now at this whole situation!!! And I'm done with that stupid pee pot, farewell to that idea along with all the other attempts to keep this kid pee free.

I think every parent probably has at least one child that struggles with this bed wetting issue . Of our 4 children Ben is the only one that has ever wet his bed at night. I thought he would just grow out of it but he's going to be 5 and he's not making ANY progress! I thought I could just wait it out and be patient with him but after today I think my patience has run out. I'm about to make this kid camp out and sleep on the bathroom floor next to the toilet. I am so tired of washing peed on pajamas, sheets and bedding. It is so disgusting!!!

PLEASE, if you have any experience with this or any wisdom to impart I could really use some advice!


Mary said...

I'm sorry for all the frustration. That doesn't sound fun, especially with pee seeping through the ceiling! I've read that bed wetting is developmental and very individual to every child. It's not like the conscious choice that potty training is during the day. We still stock night-time pull-ups for Abe (who is 6 1/2) although in the last month he has actually been waking up dry and doesn't use them all the time anymore. We've only recently stopped buying GoodNites for Elise (almost 5yrs) too. Some kids still wet their bed at 9 yrs old and sometimes later. I get tired of the constant laundry so we buy the pull-ups. So that is my recommendation: to add GoodNites into the budget and plan for it until you start seeing (or we have Abe report) consistently dry pull-ups in the morning. Certainly encourage him to get up on his own to the bathroom, if he can, but I really don't believe they can help it at night. Don't worry, this too shall pass in time. Good luck!

Courtney said...

Oh Andria! I am so sorry!! I can't stand cleaning up pee either, but I've never had the "soaking through the floor and dripping down through the ceiling" problem that you're dealing with. That really is worth ranting about! I agree with Mary advice. I would try using Pull-Ups or GoodNites and save myself the laundry and clean up hassel. It may seem like a step in the wrong direction, but if he doesn't mind sleeping in pee soaked sheets, then he will certainly be okay in a Pull-Up. His body will get there eventually! Hang in there!!

Pam C. said...

I know from other discussions that you have a much different parenting style than I do. I don't really understand why this is such a big deal to you. My third child is still wearing pull ups at night, which are wet several times a week, and she is eight. My eldest was five and a half before she quit wetting at night.

I can understand why you would be so upset about the spillage. Although I have not had pee soaking through the floor, my girls have flooded the bathroom twice while my husband has been gone. We had water streaming down into the laundry room in multiple places. The first time the eight year old was in the tub (along with the three year old), and I completely lost control and let her have it. The second time, it was just the three year old, and I said a prayer and managed to maintain control, but it is so stressful to deal with "seepage" of any kind.

Jenniferb said...

I have no experiance in this, but if it were me, I would definetly go with the pull ups. Sounds like you need a girls night as much as I do! Love you!

Andria Laws said...

Thank you for all your comments and your support. It's nice to know that even when I have a rant someone is listening and ready to offer their words of wisdom and perspective.

Mary I loved your comment "this to shall pass." You and Courtney have nearly convinced me to go back to pull-ups. It's just hard when you've gone from having a kid fully potty trained then have them regress back to bed wetting. I'm not sure it's worth all the cost for the extra laundry though so I think I may just give up and go back to the pull-ups.

Pam, you're right it really is not a big deal when you step back and can breathe after cleaning up rancid pee off the floor. (: In the moment though it sure does feel like you'll never recover. Aaron made the comment to me when we did away with the pull-ups (and I was a bit skeptical) that if we made it too easy for them to escape the consequences of wetting the bed (pull-ups etc.) than there are no natural consequences that may motivate them to change their behavior (that's if there's even aware that they're doing it!) I remember wetting the bed a couple of times as a little girl and then felt the terror of soaking my bed and realized that when I was having one of "those kinds of dreams"-where you're sitting on a toilet and have the need to go..... I would wake myself up and get out of bed because I hated that uncomfortable feeling of wetting my bed and soaking my pajamas. That's been our parenting perspective on it all but obviously it doesn't work for everyone and hey it's not even working for us so I don't know what we're doing! (:

Jen, you're right I really do need a girls night out! Who's up for one of our "for old times sake" spontaneous girls nights! I would totally be in!!!

One last thing......I had no idea that bed wetting was such a commonplace problem until I had a son that struggled with this. I am learning that there are TONS of kids out there who wet the bed well into their grade school years which I found so interesting/surprising. Tiffany Jones even called me and told me that she knew someone in her extended family that wet his bed up until he was missionary age and was not allowed to go on his mission until he got the problem under control. (Which he later did with the help of some medication).