I'm proud of the fact that my boys don't play video games. It's a tough stand to take especially when you have 3 sons that are right in the thick of the video game age. But it's a decision both my husband and I feel very strongly about. Our boys have always been very supportive of our position, and for that I'm very grateful.My picture this week is of Jacob and the two cars he built for the "Crash Derby" he had with his brothers and 2 other friends that came over on Wednesday to play. Our house was full of boys and among the other boyish activities they engaged in this was by far my favorite.
I heard them upstairs in the playroom working on something. When I came up to see what they were doing each boy was building a car out of Kinex to participate in what they called a "crash derby." Once they were done building, 2 boys would take their best car and sit at either end of the hall and crash them into each other. Whichever car held up the best after multiple rams won that round and went on to challenge at the next competitor. The boy that lost went back into the playroom to "redesign" his car and try it again.
They played at this for over an hour. I wish I'd gotten a picture of all the boys on that day but by the end of the Derby most of their cars were all crashed up and I couldn't find my camera. Here's a picture of Jacob that I took later on posing with his two winning car designs.
I love the things my boys come up with to play. They constantly impress me with their ingenuity, physicality and resourcefulness. It makes me so happy to see them making up some fun little game involving ordinary household objects or digging tunnels down at the sandpit for hours on end. I love seeing them play football or soccer in the front yard, or basketball in the living room complete with hand drawn brackets for double elimination rounds. I love it when they build forts outside in the drizzling rain, "hunt" coyotes in the woods with their slingshots, or have "target practice" with their bb gun and a hand drawn target nailed to a tree. They come back inside wet and covered in mud but smiling from ear to ear. It puts a smile on my face every time as I think to myself, 'this is boyhood at it's best'.
Sometimes I wonder if we had gone down that path of letting them do video games if they'd still play in the same way they do now. I may never know and I'm certainly not saying that playing video games is bad. I'm just saying that so far I'm not regretting our decision at all. If anything I'm more convinced that we made the right choice. These years of boyhood are loud and crazy but wonderful in their own way.
If you have sons I would highly recommend you read the book "Boys Adrift: The Five Factors Driving the Growing Epedimic of Unmotivated Boys and Underachieving Young Men" by Leanord Sax. It's a must read for anyone raising sons.
See you next week.
2 comments:
I debate this issue in my head so often but don't have the courage to take it all away. Joe likes to play video games with the kids so it's hard to get 100% support on that side. I hate the way they wander around whining that they are bored and have nothing to do when they have access to video games all week (like on holidays). They actually think of other things during the week when they know that Saturday is the only day they get it but even then they have this compulsive desire to binge once they get to Saturday and I meet with resistance if they only get to play for an hour and they fall apart if they don't get to play at all on Saturday. It's like the world revolves around video games for them and I don't even let them play that much! Maybe someday soon I'll muster the courage to pull the plug. My kids are in too deep to support that decision though so it will be an uphill battle. Good for you and Aaron! I'm glad your boys are experiencing a wonderful childhood! I feel like my kids are enjoying childhood too, doing what boys love to do (tease siblings, play board games, run around, wrestle, etc.), we, as parents just have the balance of video games to contend with.
Mary, I don't think you're alone in your struggles with this.
I'll bet there's a ton of mothers out there that would be nodding their heads in agreement with everything you said. First of all, I think your husbands stance on video games has a huge affect on whether or not you're able to "pull the plug" (or never even start to begin with). I can honestly say that if my husband was the kind of guy who played video games, I can almost guarantee that my experience would probably be exactly like yours. I feel very lucky that we see eye to eye on this issue and that he doesnt spend his time gaming. Hang in there with the battle, I think all of your efforts to monitor their use is very admirable and I'm sure we'll worth it the effort and any resistance you may get.
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